How many more children have to die?

Jamie Rodemeyer, a boy of fourteen just starting high school in Buffalo, New York has taken his own life because he could no longer bear being harassed for being gay. A lot has been said about and against the bullying that drove him to his death. But I do not blame the bullies. I blame those who encouraged him, directly and indirectly, to “come out” to the other kids in his school. And I blame the great lie that some are gay and some are straight.

The fact is that all boys are naturally gay. All boys like to be friends with handsome boys. All boys would like to walk with their arms around the waist or the shoulders of their friend, all boys would like to go camping with other boys and sleep in each other’s arms, all boys would like to walk hand in hand with their pals. All boys love, and are in love with their friends, and all boys would love to fool around with their friends and do circle jerks and see who could shoot the farthest, and jerk each other off. All boys would like that stuff because they are boys and that’s what boys do. Normal boys, that is, in normal societies.

But we put our males who love other males in a ghetto, and we give them special names, and special rituals. like “coming out,” which is really nothing more than speaking the truth to a bunch of liars. The boy who admits to feelings of love for other guys is brave and honest. How else can all the others, who are neither brave or honest, react to him except by making a scapegoat out of him for all their unspoken fears and desires. So what person in their right mind would encourage a child to step into this storm of madness and deception and face it alone? It is hard enough for an adult supported by other adults to enter into this endless battle with fixed ideas and unexamined beliefs. But a child??? And we look down on societies that practiced human sacrifice? By what rights?

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  • Anonymous

     Very good and a very true article especially this quote for your article.
    “It is hard enough for an adult supported by other adults to enter into this endless battle We battle not against gay or straight but against preconceived notions of what others think we should be. Because of fear I missed out on what I was and wanted to be – Gay. Dave

  • http://profiles.google.com/dancolliergay Dan Collier

    – all boys are naturally gay –

    Why is this so hard for society to accept? Women for millenia have been appreciating each other physically and emotionally, yet when men admit to a same-sex attraction, we are vilified.

  • Triplefoul24

    ” A lot has been said about and against the bullying that drove him to his death. But I do not blame the bullies. I blame those who encouraged him, directly and indirectly, to “come out” to the other kids in his school.”

    How can you not blame the bullies that made his life so difficult that he felt death was the only way out? I could understand how the conflict of some pressuring him to come out and some pressuring him to repress/suppress same sex attraction could attribute to his suicide, but to argue that the bullies don’t have fault in this situation is simply foolish.

    Also I take issue with your statement that “all boys are naturally gay.” I feel like, especially in the context of our today’s society, that that is simply not true. Ian very skeptical of none claiming that all boys start out attracted to the same sex. I do agree that it’s simplistic to think of things in black and white, gay vs. straight (as it seems you’re saying in a part of this article); but then to say that all boys are gay falls into that very trap.

    Basically I don’t understand what points you’re trying to make because certain points seem contradictory to me.

  • Anonymous

    The bullies too are victims of a society in which it is dangerous to express your true nature. They did not invent that world, they are merely conforming to it, and reacting to the non-conformists. Remember that they too are children. The lesson here is that we should not burden children with acting out our political ambitions. Coming out is an act of social defiance that is best left to strong adults. Young people should concentrate on learning, in order to better understand themselves and the world they are living in, and should not be used as pawns in the battles of their elders. Think of this dead boy as a child soldier, no different from one carrying a Kalashnikov in the African bush.

    As for boys not being instinctively homoerotically inclined, have you raised children, or spent a great deal of time among them? I have done both and I have observed that boys manifest ever stronger homoerotic behaviors from toddlerhood on until the age of seven or so, when they begin to discover social norms and start to put on the brakes, quickly switching from homoerotic to homophobic. THAT is why they so predictably become homophobic, because they have to suppress their own desires. But in environments where social repression is neutralized, such as in the English public schools of a few generations ago, their instincts continue to manifest full force.

    That is also why the call for “gay rights” as minority rights is so sad, it condemns the so-called gays to discrimination, and deprives the rest of mankind of its natural claim on homoerotic expression. If we learn anything by studying gay history it should be that.

  • juan

    The necessary task is not to get bullied children to talk to parents or counselors–the urgent task is to enact, promulgate, and above all ENFORCE significantly severe penalties for bullying–against the “children” and against their parents, who are the first real influence on their behavior. Children who bully are reflecting their parents’ values, not just peer values. All those responsible must be made to feel the consequences, or there will never be any change.

  • Gary805

    I so admire you so much and I know exactly what you’ve been through…. I definitely get’s better ever day.. I used to have friends that used to be so fucking Homophobic until one day I just had to tell them that I was so attracted to guys and to this day were all still friends. I am so glad that I came out and told them. I still have a little way’s to go telling my family but I already have a gay uncle and he’s so totally out to everyone. Me and him have talked a lot even been out with several of his gay buddies….. Everyday I’m so feeling more and more comfortable with my sexual feelings that I know that I’ll want to tell everyone just who I really am…… I wouldn’t change anything in my life for anything. Love is Love no matter what……

  • gary805

    Exactly, Practly all over the world you can see women walking down the streets holding hands but if two guys are seen doing that Oh My Gawd the world is coming to an end…. its BS

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